Everyone's at it: touring their classic albums in full. But which are the records never likely to be revisited?
Once upon a time bands released an album, toured it, then recorded a different one and toured that. Meanwhile their fans wished they'd done a bit more of the old one. Thanks to no one buying records any more, bands are having to pander more to what their fans want. The forward-thinking people at All Tomorrow's Parties were the first to twig to the possibilities, launching the Don't Look Back series in 2005. The idea was beautifully simple: bands performed their classic album in full. Amazing. The Stooges played. So did Dinosaur Jr. So did the Lemonheads. It was all quite special. But now, of course, everyone's doing it ? and if you can really contemplate spending an entire evening out of your painfully short life watching Ocean Colour Scene plod through Moseley Shoals then, honestly, get some help. Happily, though, some records will never, not ever, get played again live. We celebrate them here ?
Ministry ? With Sympathy (1983)
Long before they honed their monolithic industrial metal sound, Ministry were just another of the 80s new wave proletariat. Their debut, With Sympathy, is a full-on synth-pop onslaught, lacking any of the pulsating menace of their later releases. Presumably in an attempt to maintain their metal cred, the band have tried their utmost to airbrush it from history. Lead singer Al Jourgensen has famously described the album as "an abortion", and it remains alone in Ministry's early output in not receiving a re-release. Fortunately for the curious, With Sympathy can be heard in full on Spotify.
The Flaming Lips ? Zaireeka (1997)
An album that's near-impossible to listen to properly, yet alone perform, Zaireeka stands as a monument to the frenzied imagination of Wayne Coyne. With the intention of creating a "multi-dimensional" form of music, Coyne stumbled upon the idea of releasing an album that could only be heard properly if played simultaneously on four stereos. Sensing that performing Zaireeka live would be all-but-impossible, the Lips instead devised the Boombox Experiments tour, where 40 devices pre-loaded with the album were switched on simultaneously. For those poor souls with only 39 boomboxes, Coyne has promised an iPhone app later this year.
Mariah Carey ? Glitter (2001)
Glitter is no turkey ? it's sold somewhere north of 3m copies. But Carey had just signed a deal with Virgin Records for $80m, so you, literally, do the math. Semi-autobiographical in focus, the album was a dog of monumental proportions, weak songs failing to carry a catastrophically weak concept (girl from wrong side of the tracks makes it in the big, wide blah blah blah). The accompanying film was so moribund the poster claimed "In music, she found her dream, her love, herself", and so hackneyed that one critic called it, "the pop equivalent of Chernobyl". Virgin quickly paid Carey $49m to go away. Don't expect her to revisit this one.
Kiss ? Music From The Elder (1981)
An object lesson in how to completely alienate your fanbase. This was Kiss' attempt to gain some serious credibility: it featured no songs about love guns or rocking all night; instead there were torturous rhymes, grim medieval overtures, and tunes co-written with knockabout jokester, Lou Reed. "It sure was an interesting Genesis record," Gene Simmons quipped. The Elder tanked so hard on release there was no tour to support it and guitarist Ace Frehley hated it so much he said, "I listened to it, took the tape and smashed it against the wall." Frehley then left the band for 15 years.
Goodie Mob ? World Party (1999)
By album three, the Goodie Mob were running out of steam: you only have to look at the appalling cover to see how badly wrong things were going, and deciding on some spurious, thugged-out gangsta theme didn't help. But the reason you'll never hear this album getting a deeply respectful concert in its honour is thanks to band member Khujo's line, "The world would be a better place if it was less queers" from the song All A's. "That album was the most shameful moment in my entire career," Cee-Lo Green said later. He left. The band's next album was called One Monkey Don't Stop No Show. Nice.
Magdalena Wróbel Connie Nielsen Melissa George Cameron Richardson Chandra West
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