PICK OF THE WEEK
PJ Harvey
The Words That Maketh Murder (Island)
Polly Harvey's an artist whose primal screams have made me jump for joy throughout the years, and The Words That Maketh Murder is no exception. This flamenco-tinged anti-war paean is like an updated version of Kate Bush's Army Dreamers; delicately pointing out the personal damage done when blood is spilled, via her customary mix of menace and grace. Thought-provoking, sad and not in any way featuring Taio Cruz.
Taio Cruz Feat Kylie Minogue
Higher (Universal/Island)
Speaking of which, here is Kylie in a highly awkward pairing with Mr Cruz. It's the musical equivalent of an appearance on BBC3's Hotter Than My Daughter, with the listener in the role of the indignant child, screaming "she needs to be choosing more appropriate musical partners."
I Blame Coco
Turn Your Back On Love (Island)
I Blame Coco so should have happened by now. It seemed like she ticked all the right boxes: daughter of Sting, knowing band name (her real name is Coco Sumner, you see), inventive "look" (12-year-old private schoolboy goes "wild" in the summer holidays), and an ever-so contemptuous (and thus thrilling) attitude that the Ellies of this world could do with more of. Voil�, pop success! Except, um, it didn't quite pan out that way. The problem was that at the end of the day, no one really cared because the songs were a bit Zzzzz. And TYBOL, which sounds like a rejected Ladyhawke backing track, is unlikely to change that.
Wynter Gordon
Dirty Talk (Warners)
Wynter's laundry list of "dirty" things ("blindfold, feather bed, tickle me, slippery, G-spot, in-a-video, love machine, climax, hot wax, S&M, on the floor, I like it hardcore") is frankly exhausting. I would like to suggest that Wynter a) stops getting her lyrical inspiration from graffiti in Wetherspoons toilets and b) reverses some of those letters and thinks about an evening in, with a M&S meal-for-�10 deal, instead.
Chipmunk Feat Chris Brown
Champion (Jive/Columbia)
In this song, Chris Brown intones the words "I was born a champion!" with not a hint of irony. Being known primarily as the modern-day Ike Turner and secondarily as the man responsible for No Air is not something to brag about. Champion, a bout of self-delusional nonsense, won't change that.
Bryan Ferry
Alphaville (Virgin)
Oh Bryan, you melty-faced old smoothie, you. I couldn't possibly. Just throw my car keys into the fruit bowl? Oh, all right then, just be quick and promise you won't start yammering about fox hunting or nothing. Yes, Bry's back to his letchy ways with this insanely seductive, Avalon-like number that had us flinging old soft toys over our woodchip wall with abandon (in our head it was a mink coat).
Connie Nielsen Melissa George Cameron Richardson Chandra West Kasey Chambers
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