President Obama's Got Jokes

Filed under: News

The whole birther movement, prompted by Donald Trump's accusations that President Barack Obama still had not provided adequate proof he was born in the U.S., always seemed to us anyway, like a joke.

Even after President Obama went so far as to release his long-form birth certificate to the media, and took a serious tone with the press for giving the accusations so much weight, many citizens were laughing at the propensity of it all. This was a punchline, masked as serious business, and leave it to the President himself to unmask the issue, laying it bare for everyone to laugh at on Friday during the annual White House Correspondent's dinner.

Before he even spoke, President Obama had jokes. The President walked out to 'Real American,' the famed theme music of wrestler Hulk Hogan, along with a video montage of his long-form birth certificate against an American flag backdrop. When he appeared at the podium, President Obama wasted no time roasting his well-known critics and skeptics. Below, a list of those who were on the receiving end of some of President Obama's best jokes and the video of his very funny speech.

On Donald Trump: The night was practically open-season on Trump, and the President could have gone anywhere he wanted - the toupee, the failed marriages, years of squandering his wealth - but like a skilled politician, he stayed on message, taking digs at Trump's most recent shenanigans. "Now, I know that he's taken some flak lately, but no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than The Donald," the President said.

"And that's because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter, like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac? All kidding aside, we all know about your credentials, and your breadth of experience. For example, on a recent episode of 'Celebrity Apprentice,' at the steakhouse, the men's cooking team did not impress the men from Omaha Steaks. There was lots of blame to go around, but you, Mr. Trump, recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership. Ultimately, you didn't blame [rapper] Lil Jon or [singer] Meatloaf, you fired Gary Busey. These are the kinds of decisions that keep me up at night. Well handled, sir! Well handled."

On Matt Damon: During the publicity blitz for his most recent film, 'The Adjustment Bureau', actor Matt Damon, a known President Obama supporter, made an about-face and criticized the President's performance as Commander-in-Chief. "Matt Damon said he was disappointed in my performance...Well Matt, I just saw 'The Adjustment Bureau'. Right back at you, buddy!" ,Br />
On FOX News: The President mocked the house that Rupert Murdoch built, showing a satirical video of his birth with a clip from 'The Lion King'. "Tonight, for the first time I'm releasing my official birth video," the President said. The clip itself was funny, but his follow up line made for an even better laugh. "I want to make clear to the Fox News table, that was a joke. That was not my real birth video. That was a children's cartoon. Call Disney if you don't believe me. They have the original long-form version."

On Michelle Obama: "We made a terrific team at the Easter Egg roll this week. I'd give out bags of candy to the kids, and she snatched them right back out of their little hands." Even the President himself seemed to enjoy that one, as he laughed and repeated, "Snatched them!"

On some of his critics: "Some people now suggest that I'm too professorial, and I'd like to address that head on by assigning all of you some reading that will help you draw your own conclusions. Others say that I'm arrogant, but I've found a really great self-help tool for this...my poll numbers."

 

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